When I was a kid, Sigmund Freud ruled the roost. Most people — at least
the adult people in the sorta-hip bourgeois Jewish world of my childhood
– were lying down on the Freudian couch. So were a lot of their kids.
At parties, the grownups would brag about their marvelous analyst or
regale one another with therapeutic insights.

It was in this climate that someone (my mother, maybe) told me that a
sinus attack represents unshed tears. In other words, you repress your
grief and you come down with sinus.

Now, last weekend I attended BookExpo America for three days. I
meet-and-greeted, oh, about a million people. Shook hands. Hugged.
Laughed. Coughed. Got coughed-upon. And as I walked off the floor of the
Washington DC Convention Center on Sunday, I was sniffling.

Next day, I was dying.

Ordinarily there isn’t much I can do about sinus. Antihistamines put me
to sleep, decongestants keep me awake and nose drops hurt. I just inhale
steam, put hot compresses on my forehead, do nasal irrigation if I can
stand it, and hope to be alive the next morning.

But this time was different. This was the Mother of All Sinus Attacks.

My wife Carol, who really gets annoyed when I whine, suggested I go to
the doctor. I didn’t even put up an argument, just dialed the phone. Six
hours later, I came home clutching a prescription for Avelox, an
antibiotic, and one or two hours after that, I started feeling better.

Does this disprove the Theory of Unshed Tears? Does it thereby
invalidate all of Freudian analysis? (It was down for a 9-count already.
Indeed, since Prozac, the rest of psychotherapy hasn’t been feeling so
hot either.)

Let’s not go there. Let’s merely say that there were no unshed tears as
a result of BEA, which I think will result in –

• Two new book reviews.
• Several more library appearances.
• Direct book sales. My Amazon rankings rose smartly after the show.
• Inclusion in the “white box,” a monthly mailing of new titles that
goes to all Booksense bookstores. The “white box” strongly influences
which books independent booksellers push. “It’s like getting a Christmas
present every month,” one told me.

Perhaps most important, BEA gave me a yardstick to measure how my novel
is doing. After 45 days, my publisher has orders for about half of the
first printing. I asked other publishers, Considering unknown-author/
small-press, is this good or bad? The consensus: It’s quite respectable.

So, no unshed tears. Take that, Siggie.

Frank S. Joseph
www.tolovemercy.com

P.S. Baltimore this weekend! Come to the Barnes & Noble at Towson Town
Mall, 1 E. Joppa Rd., Towson MD, where I’ll be reading at 1 p.m.